The Love Maths

How on earth can we just get around this 'Love' equation that stares at us in the face all the time?

So here's a way to get y'all busy, and truthfully we need answers to some critical questions, hence this exam. Its termed the Second Semester Exams, and its compulsory for all Departments

Here we go:
Course: Love Mathematics.

Course code: LMS111
All questions carry equal marks.
Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 minutes.

1. If a girl is in love for 10 years and at the end, the guy breaks up with her, WHAT is the formula for calculating such love and time wasted?

2. As a guy, you dated more than 7 chicks at a time. Using the Almighty Formula, CALCULATE the expenses and loss in handling all of them?

3. In not more than 10 pages, STATE the difference between Orobo (fat) girls and Lekpa (skinny) girls.

4. With the aid of a labeled diagram, DRAW and EXPLAIN the term "Ukwu".(Question

5- For girls only)5. Using Laws of indices, CALCULATE the disappearance of your boyfriend whenever you demand for an iPhone 6.

(Question 6- For boys only.)
6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to your girlfriend and she sends you a 'Please call me I Love You' text. CALCULATE the profit and Loss of the airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the equation.

7. You broke up with your girl because of Christmas gifts, etc. Using quadratic equation, CALCULATE how long it'll take you to get her back in January.

8. As a guy, you are dating other people's sister, but you don't want any other guy to date your sister. CALCULATE the percentage of your foolish and wicked behavior. (Take pie =3.14)9. When you check a Facebook profile, 99% of guys are single as their marital status states, and 100% of the girls are dating, engaged, in a relationship or married. BRIEFLY explain who they are all dating in not less than two sentences.N/B- Attempt all question to avoid carry-over!

GOODLUCK!
@Koredanielz